I know this coming week will go by so fast. Edmund is arriving Friday morning to spend our last week here and we'll all go back together the following Friday. Tho it's sad to leave here, I have been a little homesick and am looking forward to going back to my own house and my own bed and my own kitchen.
It has been a very fruitful trip especially for Caelyn. I can see that thru having the interaction with someone her own age everyday she's grown more into her own person. Her language skills are also developing well and she's even picked up a bit of Indonesian and Chinese all from being here for 2 months! Her appetite has also increased since being here and she'll be returning with a rounder belly than before. She occasionally gets bullied by her cousin, which makes me a little scared thinking about her being at school all helpless and alone. But I know it's a stage all the kids will have to go through and I can only hope that once she does start school she doesn't get bullied too much. I worry a little how she's gonna be back home when it goes back to being just us two at home again. She's definitely going to miss the company of having so many people to play with all at once.
As for me, it's been a real eye opener this time around. Usually my trips back have been around 2 weeks max so during those visits I've usually got my tourist goggles on. This time tho I was scouting the place to see the changes, the changes in ppl & the environment and to see how I would feel if we were to be back here again for good. I must say that it surprised me that it took me such a long time to get used to being back. For the good part of the first month I couldn't get used to it at all. And I was analysing and scrutinising every little thing and experiences. I started to wonder whether the Brisbane I knew 5 years ago didn't exist anymore. People had changed, less friendly, less welcoming in some instances. And you couldn't help but wonder whether it was a race issue - eventhough you don't really want to entertain those kind of thoughts, they do come up. You really can't help and feel different when people start treating you as if you are different from them, especially when you can see how differently they've treated the person in front of you.
During the first month I came to realise that I may not enjoy living back here and come to a sudden realisation how much i was in denial about how much I enjoyed living in Singapore and all its conveniences - including the food and shopping conveniences. The past few years I'd always wanted to move back and I guess I tried to not get myself too attached to living in Sg, but little did I know how much I am attached to the place already.
However by the 2nd month, my views changed again as I got more and more settled. I then realised that I probably could enjoy living here again, but at the same time I also realised that I think I also wouldn't mind it too much if we stayed in Sg longer. I guess as long as you have your family and time with your family it doesn't matter too much where you live. Economics and all other things considering of course.
Economy still seems pretty gloomy especially when you keep hearing about job cuts (Rio Tinto just announced they're axing over 500 jobs in the mining areas in Gladstone). So it probably wouldn't be too wise to move and give up your well paying job right now. I just wonder how long things are gonna remain gloomy - when will things start looking brighter......
